I've only been to Ohio once and it wasn't for long enough to really get a sense for its culture. Nevertheless, I suspect there's something not quite right in the water there.
I give you exhibit A, a run-of-the-mill office building in Newark, Ohio...

My question is, do you think there's a giant fried chicken, potato salad, and an extra large bottle of wine inside? And how long does it take to fold the napkins? And of course, wherever there's a picnic, there are ants... . Yikes!